Sleep Deprivation Solved

One thing they really gloss over when you're thinking about getting pregnant or when you're pregnant going to all those classes and appointments is the amount of sleep you're not going to get. Everyone laughs and says "you better sleep now while you can"...except you're too damned excited to sleep, because you're constantly wondering if you're eating right and staying relaxed, what the baby's going to look like and who. Then they tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps. That's an interesting statement. If you don't mind letting everything around you fall apart, like how clean your house is, how clean you are, how clean the people coming in to touch your baby are, if you don't value eating, pooping, or showering, go ahead a sleep when the baby sleeps. See what I'm saying, it's great advice but very difficult to do. Once you get your routine down...2 weeks - 3 months...then it's totally possible. BUT if you you're like me and you go back to work be prepared to still not be able to sleep when the baby sleeps. This time it's because you're not anywhere near your bed while someone else it taking care of your child. Then you have to start picking up your share of the chores around the house because your hubby feels overworked and underappreciated. THIS IS NORMAL, but they don't really explain it to you, and if you don't deal with it or have a plan to deal with it before it becomes a problem, it becomes a problem very quickly. This is not a bash on my hubby, it's just something that i had never imagined could even become a concern. At this point, consider yourself lucky if your child is sleeping through the night (or most of the night). Did you know that "sleeping through the night" means the baby gets 5 or more hours of uninterrupted sleep? Yeah, it's not the 8, 10, 12, or 14 you think they should be getting...but there are babies out there that do that...and they do it from a very young age. Well, mine isn't and hasn't EVER. Not that she's a bad sleeper. She slept really well at a much younger age. Then she started getting sick constantly. She couldn't breath very well because she was congested, she couldn't eat very well because she was congested, and she cried to let me know there was something wrong with her...usually she lost her pacifier because she couldn't breath and suck on it at the same time when she was congested. I feel like I did what any other mother would have done: i nursed her more frequently to make sure she was getting enough nutrition, and I picked her up when she cried and put her in a more comfy position...even if it meant sleeping with her in a chair or sitting up in my bed. Not that I shouldn't have done any of that, but now that she's older, had tubes, getting sick less often (except for our bouts with new teeth coming in), I've really dropped the ball on teaching my little girl arguably one of the most important first lessons in life: HOW TO FALL ASLEEP. This is not a behavior you are born with, rather it's learned. She didn't get a chance to learn this at a young age and her and I are both suffering for it. I've had all I can take when it comes to not getting any sleep. This is worse than freshman year of college when you think you can drink every night until the wee hours and get up and be functional for an 8am class. This is worse than cramming for that exam you know you're going to fail if you don't read one more page from your text book or do one more practice problem. So, I took her to the doctor. I made him sit there and talk to me and help me figure out what I'm doing wrong. I forgot to mention that she doesn't have this problem at school. when she gets fussy, they lay her down in her bed with a blanket and a sucker. After a few minutes she nods off, never having made a peep! I've tried my best to recreate her daycare environment at home in her room in terms of her bed, it's helped a little, but not enough. I've tried cry it out, I've tried modified cry it out (where you go in every so many minutes and comfort, but leave again), i've also tried putting her down and sitting in the rocker so she can see that i'm still there. that helped a lot, but it's beginning to fail. Oddly enough I went into the doctor's office wanting to figure out how to get her to sleep through the night. I didn't realize that she didn't know how to fall asleep. he put it bluntly, but it was so true, "how do you expect her to sleep through the night if she doesn't know how to put her self to sleep?" So, it wasn't really an issue of her being hungry or scared. It's normal to have wake cycles. You have them, and you may not even realize you're waking up because you know how to roll over and go back to sleep. she doesn't at all. i've been in the room when she's been completely asleep, she sits up and grabs onto the rails and pulls herself to a standing position ALL THE TIME HER EYES ARE CLOSED!! I think she quickly figures out she's not laying down and it scares her and she cries out, because usually i can go in there and lay her back down on her pillow and she'll roll over and go to sleep. that's great for her, but it sucks for me, because sometimes i have to do this every 2 hours...so my sleep is shot! Anyway, the doctor recommended the following method. it's kinda like cry it out and modified cry it out put together. On the first night, put them to bed sleepy but awake. This means when you see your kid starting to rub their eyes, or when their eyes are starting to shut...even though they are still playing...put them into bed. comfort for a few minutes saying it's bed time, night night, whatever, and leave the room. after some specified amount of time, go back in a comfort to sleep (most people disagree with this part) and then put to bed asleep. the next night, do the same thing, just wait longer until you go in a comfort to sleep...like if you waited 5 minutes on day one, wait 10 minutes on day two. keep this pattern up (of waiting more time for each successive night) and they will figure out you're not coming as soon as the crying starts and they'll lay down. Then he suggested I use the same scenario when her night wakings. But first, i have to teach her to learn to sleep before i can teach her to stay asleep. We tried it last night. It worked pretty well. I moved her night time routine up a little bit (I figured out she was overtired when i was trying to put her to bed at 815). She cried for 6 minutes when i thought she had put herself to sleep, but given a little time, it started up again. I waited 2 more minutes and then went in there. I laid her down on her back, she rolled over to her side and was completely out in 2 minutes. She stayed asleep for an hour...she lost her sucker...then another hour later she was really up...she was choking on snot, so i nursed her...she was up again 3 hours later still choking on her snot...so i nursed her again and then propped her up and she slept the rest of the night. At 5, I realized I hadn't heard a peep from her so I peeked in to see if she was still breathing. She was, and she woke up 30 minutes later. Hopefully this method works. I'm committed to using it until she learns. They really need consistency at this age. The more you try different things, the more is messes up their world. Next up: no more night nursing, sleeping through the night, and then weaning for real. Hopefully I'll be getting some sleep after that. I could really use it.